Finding that special someone who gets involved in your favourite hobby is magical, not to sound too gushy. Your games collection isn’t shunned, if anything it is admired and worshiped. Your gamer rants are understood and agreed on. And any tedious co-op games become enjoyable and even fun!
The dating scene can be such a frightening place for anyone at any age. Finding a common ground and then hoping they like you can cause so much stress. Some people use books, TV shows, movies or music to get started when dating someone new. When I started dating, I happily mentioned I loved playing video games. Games always start good conversations and even fun debates. And it would make such a great impression on the guy, but sadly not their family.
“So… do you play Halo?”
One mum actually said to me “Please tell me you’re pretending to like these games and you’re putting up with them to make my son happy!” I was shocked and annoyed. Why can’t I like computer games? This was said to me ten years ago and it still lingers because she was a massive feminist. She should have been supporting me and telling me to stick it to anyone who says I shouldn’t like games. Where does it say I can’t be a woman AND a gamer? Last time I checked, it doesn’t. But in that case I actually was pretending because it was early Counter Strike! So yeah, my bad there.
At one point I dated PC gamers. I’m more of a console person and know nothing about computers, I am not “tech savy”. PC gaming seemed to be an exclusive club that I felt I could never join. So I felt like there was nothing we could talk about game wise. They ranted on about how Half Life 3 should have been made by now and what else to build in Minecraft. All I could contribute was how to get extra Simoleons and how to kill my Sims…
The worst relationship with a gamer I had was with a lad who was obsessed with Star Wars and shooters. Probably sounds like Heaven to some ladies, but not me. When Secret of Monkey Island was released on Xbox I was overjoyed. My childhood was back and I couldn’t be happier. That was until he saw it. He viewed it as “a waste of time, money and pixels on some crap that a 4 year old invented. Rubbish graphics, dumb story and annoying characters.” And the best one; “You don’t even shoot anything! Whats the f**king point in it?!”
Yes, that was actually said. I saw red, I wanted to smash his Master Chief helmet and snap his stupid lightsaber in two. Instead I ignored him and carried on playing. But inside I was sobbing, he had managed to hurt something I held dear. Thankfully, we broke up!
Avoid this type of guy.
If anyone is unfortunate enough to know me on social media and in real life, you’ll know I have finally found my Player 2! It has taken some time, but I finally nabbed myself a fantastic fella and also a co-op partner. We both write, play the same games, enjoy the same films and he doesn’t drink my beer! Yes, this truly is meant to be! The perks of dating a gamer are amazing. Disks aren’t scratched, figures aren’t broken, you’re not judged by your gamerscore and it’s fun to see what consoles and games they have themselves.
Plus co-op can happen now without trying to organise games with friends or play on teams of strangers. Borderlands 2 is our main co-op game and made last Christmas without him bearable as we played online together into the wee hours of the morning. We even managed to get through the horrors of Alien Colonial Marines! If our relationship survived that, it can survive anything. At the moment we are currently trying to sort out our DS consoles so we can Pokemon battle! Love; its a funny thing.
Yeah, yeah. Its from Tumblr.
The story of how we got together is odd. He worked on a rival writing team to mine and we got chatting on Facebook and became good friends. Sadly, he started dating someone on his team and yes, it hurt. I realised I had feelings for this guy. I forgot about him and continued writing and bobbing along in my life. Then something random happened; he broke up with her. Awful as it sounds, I was so happy. This person and I weren’t on the best of terms. But I still believed nothing would happen with me and him because of the distance.
We quickly became friends again and agreed to meet up at Eurogamer later in the year. And that is when we knew we liked each other and wanted to become a couple. It worked, it actually worked. Seven months on and we now live together. It’s amazing. We did start off as an odd gaming Romeo and Juliet; people we knew didn’t want us to be together and tried to sabotage it, but if anything its made us stronger.
I know so many gaming couples and also quite a few where one person is a gamer and their partner isn’t. But their significant other doesn’t mind that they spend time in front of the TV shouting at a pixelated character! One female friend said she preferred her husband staying at home playing video games instead of going to the pub because their children would sit and watch their dad game for hours. It was like a bonding session. Bringing someone new into the gaming realm isn’t always an easy task, but with time and patience you can see it slowly happening. Some couples go as far as to get their World of Warcraft characters married on their servers! This is how much impact gaming can have in relationships. It’s incredible.
They also instill healthy competition with your partner. Going head to head in games such as Street Fighter or getting a little bit further in Tomb Raider then them just makes your relationship more fun. Just don’t steal each others kills or teabag each other. And if you actually start fighting against each other as Guile and Chun Li, then I suggest you walk away from each other! This is healthy competition after all.
So I guess what I’m saying is this; don’t accept Game Over just yet. We all have a player two out there waiting to start a game with us. It may take a while and you may have to get through a couple of noobs and trolls to find them, but when you do you’ll unlock the best achievement ever!
Well hello beautiful!
blazblueneko
i dont think that sharing the same hobbies is a big deal in a relationship i’ve had girlfriends who havent understood my love of anime,video games or music but we understood each other as people if that makes sense …. but it was a great read so thank you for the article and im glad youve found your player 2 as corny as that sounds lol
Weekin
This article is full of grammar and spelling mistakes. I have no other feedback.
Weekin
This is for Lauren – http://www.bbc.co.uk/skillswise/english
Tim
“This article is full of grammar and spelling mistakes. I have no other feedback.”
I will take the blame for that, I dd a terrible editing job (just part of the reason I shouldn’t be the one editing.) Good and bad, we thank you for the feedback though. Positive comments fuel our egos, negative comments fuel our desire to improve. But again, I apologise for my errors on this occasion. We will look to rectify them now and avoid this happening again in future.
Weekin
Good to know. My only other issue with this article is that it seems a little narcissistic and not really an editorial. Something you’d perhaps find on a personal blog.
Tim
Big Red Barrel is a personal blog. We just have a lot of persons personally blogging in the same space. = )
Fantismo
https://twitter.com/CaptainToss/status/334040994393780224
Weekin
Looks like my opinion is popular. Understandably, it’s your blog, you can put whatever you want on it but this article isn’t up to BRBs usual standards. It’s not the same kind of edgy views and quirk that Mat has or the cheesy but serious tone that Tim uses – it’s lifeless and felt very narcissistic. Ode to Lauren and her having a boyfriend almost. I’d suggest making the article less personal, branching out to how co-op gaming brings people together, maybe something on online dating through gaming. This is in no way and editorial when compared next to other members articles.
Note, I also follow Lauren on twitter. This is one of those pot/kettle moments.
https://twitter.com/LozzimusPrime/status/334355898514423808
Also, just a note to Lauren, taking to twitter to rant about people giving you feedback is 1. very unprofessional 2. makes BRB look bad and 3. shows that you’re not willing to take on criticism to develop as a writer.
Note, this will no doubt be skewed and seen as an attack on Lauren but that’s not the case at all. If I wanted to attack her, she’d know about it.
Cara Ellison
Games are more interesting the more you realise how they can have an effect on your life outside of them; often games blogs, including this one, tend to fixate directly on what the authorial voice thinks of a game (which is usually called a review). Lauren obviously noticed that there was wider content missing that she could provide and wanted to try to interpret her feelings on something that happened to her. Editorials can be broader and more wide ranging, and cultural observations have a place in this.
What really opened up Lauren to criticism here was the fact that she wanted to articulate something that people are often reluctant to talk about re: games – personal issues within the culture. With an improvement in writer’s craft, which will come the more she writes, I think she will better be able to interpret the identity crises that people who play games often have when they realise the wider culture thinks less of someone who plays them. Clinging to another person who has the same interests as you is a universal issue. Lauren attempted to articulate that, and I salute that. Perhaps next time broaden it: interview, ask others, and have people tell you how games affect your relationships. Personal essays are hard to write by yourself, because they need a really powerful voice to carry them through, which it sounds like is still being formed here.
Writing is always a narcissistic activity. Writing a comment on someone else’s work and expecting to be heard is also a narcissistic activity.
Reaching out for support from others on twitter when you are having a bad time is not unprofessional. It has just indicates that writers have feelings like everyone else.
Keep writing, Lauren. Writing things that resonate with people will take time and effort and commitment and commenters will always be there to make you feel like shit about stuff you took time over. You look like you have found an editor who won’t hang you out to dry for experimenting. Kudos. Carry on.
Weekin
Nothing unprofessional about calling out some random girl who has nothing to do with these comments? I have no idea who she’s on about in all honesty but I feel sorry for those she’s directing her bitterness towards. To clarify, I’m a guy and I don’t care about her feuds with others.
‘What really opened up Lauren to criticism here was the fact that she wanted to articulate something that people are often reluctant to talk about re: games – personal issues within the culture.’ Not at all, her writing was poorly executed and edited, which Tim apologised for despite the fact it should be down to the writer to up the quality of writing.
To conclude, your comment was a more interesting and articulate read than this article.
Weekin
I wrote a huge wall of text then deleted it but I’ll just TL;DR here – My initial comment was correct to my knowledge at the time up until Lauren went bat shit crazy on twitter as per usual, hence why I left additional comments, Tim.
BRB are naive if they think that Lauren is an asset to the team especially after her conduct outside of here, not only going nuts and pointing the finger but showing a clear disregard for how she might make you guys look to the public eye. I won’t be coming back, that should make you smile at least.
daftchunk
Weekin, do you even lift bro?
Ivan
This article is awful, so much insecure bragging. My wife and I work in the games industry together. Perhaps we should start writing reasons why people should be us.
XBIGY
Well done – you have a boyfriend. This whole article seems to be put together by someone that needs a partner as they are insecure about themselves. You don’t need someone with the same interests as you, although it is nice.
I don’t mind the article but how does the fact that the guy was in a relationship, then dropped out, then hooked up with you warrant two paragraphs? This is you writing, ‘I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!’ Rather than hey, this is about gaming couples and btw I am lucky enough to have got me a good gaming man who likes the same style of games as me ;).
Jenny
This is a terrible blog post written by a self-indulgent idiot. Go away and never write again you attention-seeking freak.
Boo
Oh lol. Shut up Jenny from the GameJar! Not a good way to represent your site by calling others. You’re the freak.